Today has been a good day.

Its Christos 5th Birthday today.

I`m not going to go into the detail of the past two days which have not been so good- from getting a bit of a black eye off a four year old to having a five minute panic that I had lost him ( I thought he had run out of the flat while I was in the toilet...ohhh, can you imagine how I felt?) to Christo causing so much havoc that I had the best cry I`ve had in a long time (that kind of sobbing where you get a headache and get all sleepy afterwards)- it was altogether a very bad couple of days. But today was just what I needed and infact I think what we all needed. Christo needed it with me, to have some time where he could see me for me and not have to worry about communicating with me and such and also for big Christo and Tina as they have also had a very stressful week.

I spoke to Tina after yesterday to tell her how he had behaved with me and he said sorry and I feel that things will improve now, if only slowly. Today was nice because we have had no family time as of yet, and the air was a lot more positive between me and Christo. He can see now I think that I will tell his parents when he behaves badly and actually that all four of us are on the same side.


Tina and big Christo have very definatley made me feel like we are all "on the same side." By this I mean they are not some stuck up family treating their au-pair as a slave or as someone lower than themselves. They are surprised when I ask if I can eat some fruit or use the computer " of course of course you are just one of us." I feel comfortable here and they do everything they can to make me feel that way.

It hit me the other night, that I definatley needed to say something about all their efforts for me.

My grandad always used to say...(and then my Mother)... "going to never was a good fellow" and well this family would make them proud. To quote Tina, " if someone needs something we do it then." She was referring to the laptop that hadnt been fixed for me and it doesn`t bother me even though its very nice, but Tina was so stressed about it! Even when they have been at work all day and then they spend an hour putting Christo to bed, they never never say "lets leave it until tomorrow." I am always telling Tina to sit down because she is always finding something to do. If she said she would find a map for me she`ll remember at 10pm and spend half-an-hour looking for it. Christo also...

I also need to tell you about mother-aupair bonding.

But I will do that tomorrow maybe, because that needs a blog all of its own!

So, heres to a good day and I must just tell you......I made a German friend! She actually said
" We can be friends and I will show you around Berlin." I had to hold my excitment in when she said "We should go out sometime." You know me, I played it cool. I was cool...

Love x

Christo is not my friend today.

Today Christo does not like his au-pair. Today Christo will not listen to his au-pair. Today Christo put Hannah in a bad mood.

We are in our third day and Tina is pressing me to teach him verbs and this and that but he often has extra lessons- taking us to 5pm or half 5 and then we have to go to the Speilplatz for half-an-hour and by the time we have got home this little five year old ( who is under pressure to be ahead of his time and to be expressive rather than passive) is knackered! And besides that who is this strange looking english girl anyway and why is she here again?- thats what he`s thinking.

All the mothers talk about me when I get to Kindergarten (the private one may I add)---- " Why would you employ an au-pair to teach your child english when she speaks no deutsch?"----- thats what all the kids say and all the mothers and sisters etc. He is embarssed of my Englishness and pretty much ignores me until we get home. He threatens to run out in the road when I wont give him sweets (sweets that he has been given by a friend but his mother says no no no no no so I have to aswell.) And until now I thought it was just a phase, just a getting to know me but today I took him to his English teacher.

Did I mention that the English teacher is black? Oh...well...Tina says its ok though ( I hope you all pick up on my sarcastic tone here.)

Anyway,Michelle says to me " hes very undisciplined this kid" and she gave me a few pointers, she was a bit like the American supernanny. I thought she was bloody wonderful, I mean she understood everyword i said! Thankgod! It was a relief to hear someone say what I had been thinking but Tina goes on and on about how great he is and how talented and perfect he is. So, as I`m drinking my 5th (?) coffee of the day it hits me. This family had a nanny of some kind before and its very unclear why she left. Why did she leave? Well I`ll tell you why, cos this kid never stops shouting or moving or complaining. He doesn`t listen to you when you say "no sweets," no infact he goes in your bag while you are in the toilet and eats 3! He also laughs in your face as he eats a chocolate you clearly stated wasn`t to be eaten. Because honestly? He knows I can`t really do a right lot; and well I wouldn`t yet. If I shout at him now surely thats our relationship dead and gone?

But today in the park when he wouldn`t comply with coming home for the 15th time,I sat him down and had a quiet word in English with him- because he got that I was cross and strangely he does understand. I felt myself cringing as I did the tragic desperate teacher move " I want us to be friends"
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.

Ive faced facts, they have employed a foreign english girl so she cant runaway so easily.

But who knows what Christo tomorrow will be like?

Love x

From taxi strikes to blue churches, today (my second day) is overall, a better day than yesterday. I suffered from first day blues, massively. I was rather panicked that I was perhaps not big or clever enough for this kind of challenge--and a challenge it is--- I am responsible for a five year old who doesn`t understand a word I say. And a panicked "mama" didn`t help me AT ALL.
And as Tina pointed out "We live better in the west" i.e I am in the Berlin equivalent to Surrey; haha, well maybe not quite. But what Tina was trying to say is this is the middle-class part of Berlin. When I asked if the West hated the East (you get that impression) she said " Ohhh yes, well, the East dont live so well." However, thats not to say Tina and Christo Senior ( and yes I have to point out the Senior because believe it or not some people think its a good idea to call their son after the Father!) are stuck up. And they have been very welcoming to me.

Tina is very full-on; obviously trying to make sure everything is ok for me- but she can`t eat a meal without leaving the table to show me that she bought this for me or she could show me this etc... And as she said last night " I am trying to understand you," in other words shes very nosey! But thats fine, I dont mind. And she wants me to know her too and how brilliant she and her family are and I dont mind that either. I can tell she appreciates the female company.

Papa doesn`t speak any English, a little bit but not really but we smile and laugh nervously at eachother. And when I got to Berlin airport and I saw a stern faced man clearly looking for someone my nerves hit the roof so you can imagine my relief when two smiling figures came rushing towards me.

Christo Jr is the cleverest five year old I`ve ever met.( And its no surprise when he goes to every extra class there is) He knows you aren`t supposed to use olive oil in the pan "no hannah, no" and he knows that you have to open tins with sharp knives " hannah here hannah." And even though at first he found it hard to accept that I didn`t speak any German, we have aquired a language inbetween the two which works great for us. So we both know "eat" "ball" "trinken (drink)" Vas ist das (in) deutsch?" "speilplatz" (playground) and "come"- so its a lot of "Christo, come" "Hannah come" "nein! Christo" "Speilplatz?" " Do you have the hunger?" (thats my favourite!) And we had a lot of fun making tea yesterday. Until Christo did a bit of boundary testing by taking a little experiment with blackcurrent juice a bit far-he spilt it all over the place and on the white table mats, and unfortunatley for me it was hilarious so I had to put my best `I-am-cross` face on.

So thats the family, ish. Oh I did forget to mention that they are not German- they are both originally from Bulgaria. And did you know that Tina could speak five languages!??? Impressive (she told me with much modesty....)

I decided to spend my first week just concentrating on getting to know the family and being an aupair to be my best ability. Its not Berlin here like we know it as the cool city with a lot of arty things going on, but I am taking the experience for what it is at the minute. And when I get used to the timing of picking Christo up etc I will do a lot more exploring.

Talking of picking Christo up- its that time of day! We go to the Speilplatz now and then mama asked me to teach him some verbs. The speilplatz is bloody amazing- I wish it was acceptable for 19 year olds to run around on swings etc.

Love x